Making prophets on the internet has never been easier but as more and more detractors taste the lure of linkbait it is going to be harder and harder to blow smoke in the faces of irrelevance and irreverence. Ben Watson (@bitpakkit) uses the afternoon coffee or smoke break on Friday to unmaliciously opine on some simple preparations to survive the inevitable apocalypses of upcoming VR Kitten Fails and IoT Selfies (and perhaps still have some shred in our common decency). Learn why we will actually never be too big data to not fail. Know when to walk away or just switch tabs, but now do it with some tips and tools to quickly and ineffectively wrap our huge awesomeness in trendy hashtags, animated memes and scheduled posts. Then, @bitpakkit will show you the chart that proves you can’t just buy bit-happiness but you can buy some bit-time to mine it if you bit-like with bit-gratitude. And he makes a great upper/lower and sentence case for safely and securely and deeply imagining all those opportunities with our names and personal information on them. It’s hard to explain, you need to virtually be there. Assuming you show up and you have no questions, Ben will fill the awkward silence with a quick tutorial on the optimal setup for the totally awesome and perfect always-on-VR-360-interactive-selfie that’s quickly unbecoming the new norm. #dontmissout #fomoisreal #selfimportance #420andpowerpoint